Well, NT people mask too. I thought the goal of these communities was "ND dont need to mask 24/7! Accept who you are!" and then I hear "But limit your personality in public, it makes others uncomfortable."

People (including other autistic people) treat my autism as a liability and a nuisance. Thanks! I knew that!

Don't call your mother fat, don't push the person standing at the crosswalk in front of a bus, don't cut someone's hair when sitting behind them because it bothers you... Socially unaccepted actions, why, because they are. In another universe they all may be acceptable. Our cultures calls them rude, murder, and possibly assault or maybe just impolite. Why. Because stuff and things. Mostly, it'll hurt someone's feelings.

Really I think it is, our freedom ends where anothers begins. Thus, we are free to do what we wish, but if your happiness impeeds on anothers happiness, then there is an issue.

Edit*. When the law doesn't match that, then I feeo government has failed

There is no objective line, but if your actions result in your friends getting hurt that is sad, and if your friends decide not to hang out with you because of the chances you'll hurt them again that is a fair choice. You may choose not to put effort into understanding other people's perspectives but this means most people with healthy boundaries will either get hurt at some point and leave, or recognize that is bound to happen and leave pre-emptively. So if you want friends that treat you right or a partner who isn't miserable, then you will have to put effort into understanding other people's perspectives.

Your friend was offended for a reason. People assume you care why or how to avoid it because that is a necessary part of any healthy friendship. If you do not care, then I hope your friend finds friends that do care so they, at least, can be happy. I also hope that you have friends and you are happy, but an unhealthy friendship does not make you happy and it barely counts as friendship anyway.

The situation really wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I was just talking about how I was doing in a course and my friend got jealous because I am doing much better. I didn’t brag, just like “Oh I did great on the exam”

But apparently GPA and pay are two things you can never discuss with anyone….for some reason.

They’re only taboo subjects because society (primarily NTs) decided they were taboo.

Autistic people have to follow the rules set by NTs, not the other way around.

I'm 50/50 on this.

People running a social scene (generally NTs) set the cadence, yes.

Thoughts/questions/ponderings:

• Do autistic people, as individuals, not have rules in their own head about how people should interact with them?
• Are there not rules that both autistic peeps and NTs have in common?
• In social groups composed entirely of autistic people, would another set of norms emerge that could get someone in the group scolded if they broke them, just like in the rest of society?
• When a NT person upsets an autistic person because they broke a norm they weren't familiar with, wouldn't they also feel bad and try to remember not to do that in the future?

Some taboos exist for good reason and apply across the board. We don't greet strangers by asking them how their genitals are feeling, for example (although that would be hilarious).

I think I agree with Savvy more.

“Read the room” is not a rule. “Read the room” is a skill of knowing how the people in the room are feeling.

The rule that skill serves is, “don’t say things that people in the room can’t handle hearing right now”

Obvious example: avoid chattering happily about your recent raise in front of people who are miserable they just got laid off.

Usually, people dismissively saying “read the room” mean, “I know that you are capable of feeling and understanding other people’s emotions, would you please fucking pay attention to that skill right now?” (This is plenty common even for not-autistic people) But of course for autistic people that assumption is just incorrect. People saying that to autistic people need to read the room.