So, I'm not a manager, but I am in a leadership position. (I'm a "tech lead" on my team of developers, and I hold more "leadership"-ness than tech leads do on some teams.) And my experience comes more from software engineering than anywhere else.

The first rule is that to be a good leader, you have to be a good person. Don't "switch teams" if/when you become a manager. Your job is to advocate for your team. To cover and take blame for your team. To give them space to work. To give them the autonomy they need to improve their processes. To make sure they know they have the autonomy they need to improve their processes. To be vocal to your team in calling bullshit on upper management and agree with your team when your higher-ups do bullshit. To absorb bullshit from above as best you to prevent it from impacting the team any more than absolutely necessary. To talk your team up. To make sure their work is as "meaningful" as possible. To bolster their egos by trying to get them a bigger slice of the "jurisdictional pie". To ease up when they're struggling. To learn from them and along with them. To ensure to the extent you can that they get insight into what's going on at higher levels of management (the high-level company goals and how what your team does fits into that as well as how decisions that might affect your team are made high up). To support your team's basic needs (sleep can be a big one when overnight on-call is involved, do everything in your power and everything not in your power make damned sure your team never has to do overtime, and of course money is tied to basic needs). To make sure the biggest personalities on your team don't silence or drown out others. To eschew needless busywork and take care of the necessary tedious bookwork behind the scenes so your team doesn't have to. To make time for your team, both on an individual basis and on a whole-team basis. To be a source of comfort. To foster relationships between your team and those outside their team that they need to work closely with to succeed as a team. To let them self organize. And to be honest, humble, and apologetic when you have made mistakes, and also open about the fact that you're learning how to be the best you you can be.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES fall into the trap of thinking you're "in charge". There are very few circumstances in which you should tell people what to do or assign things to people. (Help them to learn how to pull assignments rather than pushing assignments onto team members.) Also, don't try to "leave your mark" or push your agenda on the team. (No "I'm going to improve things". More "I'm going to help my team improve their own processes.") Push the team's agenda to those above you.

A few resources you need to read/watch/consume/whatever, whether you're in IT or not:

• #NoEstimates^YouTube^ -- Relates strongly to the "take care of tedious bookwork" one above.
• Turn The Ship Around^Book^
• The Phoenix Project^Book^

Can you survive without other people, like can you be alone for awhile and get on with only your own company?

Therr's a saying that if you cant be alone with yourself, you should learn to do that before partnering up. There are no guarantees in Life besides Death, Taxes, and at some point you will likely be alone whether sooner or later.

Best to address that while its easier to adapt. Nothing wrong with seeking out others company and friendship/love but they cant necessarily give you all that you seek with perfect uninterrupted continuity always.

There are times you will be alone regardless of the reason and you do a massive favor for future you to be adept at handling yourself in dryer times so you dont introduce ill-fitting substitutes into your life out of a simple inabillity to be ok with yourself.

Friendship as adults is difficult and any healthy friendship requires accepting each other as is provided everyone is respectful of each others qualities or preferences and not overstepping each others boundaries and limits but also that uncomfortable aspects are transparently bought into where it doesnt compromise their authenticity or yours

If you decide that you want an older partner or that is whar you have determined you are attracted to and feel for, that should become non-negotiable in terms of how you live your life and the people you allow in to surround yourself with.

Contacting your old friends who seem to have not made an effort to stay in touch or even in mutual good graces likely isnt going to change their minds or allow you to be authentic without unnaturallt compromising your standards for people who dont seem to respect even you in the first place, much less any personal detail that is incompatible with any notion of respect for you that is possible in the future. That is a sin you would perform against yourself and it has consequences that lead to you self-denying when you feel others require it to keep what is only ever a probabillity or chance for their continued association and engagement.

Not a healthy lesson I dont think. If you need something or someone, get a dog or a cat that will love you unconditionally and help you avoid loneliness in the same way people eat at the Costco foodcourt before shopping so their desperate hunger doesnt lead to them making decisions based on immediate urgency rather than what is truly necessary, useful, and sustainable—or that which they actually truly know and want

Don't feel ashamed for being attracted to older men. But a word of caution, if you're in your 20's, you'll probably attract older men for the wrong reasons. This was my experience when I was in my 20's. The people I attracted were just as immature as I was just with way more baggage. As I got older myself I found that to be less and less the case. The divide between 35 and 45 isn't as big as 25 and 35 as far as life experience goes.

Also don't give anyone the time of day who doesn't support you. I don't mean surround yourself with sycophants, because that's not support either. Good friends are going to build you up, but also call you out if you're being dumb. This person doesn't sound like a good friend.

Like what @cheese_greater@lemmy.world said:

Learn to be really good at being by yourself. Spending some time alone will be really good for you if you view it as a time for self love and a time to work on yourself. Adulthood can be very lonely at times, and it only gets worse as you get older, so being comfortable with being alone can help you find balance and not feel that loneliness as you age.